Hog Country = awesome, but P90-X = stupid

Haven't blogged in forever, so it's time to get started back. That's partially because I like to write, partially because it gives me a way to kill time. And in the next few weeks and months, I'm going to be away from home more often than not with work. So why not use the ol' blog to amaze the masses with my sardonic sense of humor and update people who don't care — and the few of you who do — about my life.

Hog Country

Carpet Tech is growing fast. We opened a store in Jackson, Miss., in May, and it's really taken off. We're opening another store in Little Rock, Ark., in March. That means a lot of grindin' in Razorback country and another several-month tour of spending a lot of my time living out of a suitcase and an Adidas gym bag. The good part of this is that I actually know a fair amount of people in Little Rock before getting there. Some of my best friends from college in Fayetteville and high school in Jonesboro live in and around Little Rock, so I really can't wait.

Another good thing about Little Rock: it's close to Fayetteville. I miss that city more and more each day. Though I don't know as many people who live there as I used to, the amount of fun I have when I go there has never changed. I'm throwing around the idea of working in Little Rock this week and spending the weekend in Fayetteville before returning to Memphis. The basketball Hogs play at home on Saturday against LSU, and although they're atrocious to watch this season, it'll be cool to see a game at Bud Walton Arena. It's been a few years.

So if you're in Little Rock this week and you see me slangin' rug, wave. Or if you want to help me paint the town red at night, we can do that, too.

P90-X

One of my best friends, Sean Saunders, recently started P90-X. Not only is that impressive, but it makes me jealous. Also, my girlfriend is in better shape than me and can run a 5K just as easy as I can polish off a plate of hot wings. Put those two together, and I'm on a mission to do P90-X myself. Is it going to be miserable? Of course. Have I heard more horror stories about the unyielding and unbearable soreness? Yep. So sign me the hell up.

Problem is, I can't just make the P90-X DVDs appear in my living room. So for the time being, I'm going to start priming myself for my inevitable physical destruction. How? Eh, I'll figure that out and let you know when the real fun begins.

I can't believe I'm doing this to myself.

Just when we thought we were safe

I'm going to keep this as classy as I can: Willie Herenton is an idiot.

I was listening to the Geoff and Gary Show today, and co-host/Commercial Appeal sports columnist Geoff Calkins, said something that struck me — not because I disagreed with him, but moreover, because I couldn't have agreed with him more. It went something along the lines of this:

"I love the city. I have made a life here. My three boys were born here. I am supremely defensive of the place. I pull for the place. I like its underdog sort of mentality. I love Memphis. There are two times in my life that I've wanted to leave. One was when I was listening to Willie Herenton's acceptance speech the night when we won. The second is right now. Is this city ever going to be able to move on?"

Like Calkins, I am supremely defensive of this city. I was born here, raised here for the first 13 years of my life and now 23 years old, I live here again. Even in the time I lived in Arkansas, I still thought of myself as a Memphian. The culture of this city is part of what molded me into the person I am today. Virtually every part of my life has been influenced in one way or another by the city I call home. And it just so happens that the current anger, astonishment, disappointment and depression I feel right now has not just a little bit to do with this city, but everything to do with our racist, corrupt, slimy, sorry excuse for an ex-mayor.

The man genuinely believes in what he says. He genuinely believes what he thinks and says is best for the city actually IS best for the city. He genuinely believes that only he can "continue to move this city forward." That not only angers me, but it depresses me and breaks my heart. I have pictures of this city hanging on the walls in my apartment. I have T-shirts that read "Memphis" across the front. And for someone as selfish as Herenton to spend his time peddling amid Memphis' public scene and attempting to perpetuate what can easily be described as the worst political leadership a city can possibly have is unacceptable.

I'm going to do any and everything I can to keep Herenton from further debilitating my hometown.

"The city I love deserves better," Herenton said in a statement to the public today.

You're right, Willie, it does.

So stay the hell away.

Boo hiss at this weekend

So, I was set to have a pretty awesome weekend — one I'd been anticipating for several weeks. And, for the most part, I still did. Just got cut short. But shortened fun time is better than no fun at all. I went to Monroe, La., on Friday to see my friend Krysten for the weekend. It was just my second time to ever visit the state of Louisiana, and I'm liking how I learn new things each time I go.

First, their liquor stores have frozen daiquiri machines. You can order and individual frozen daiquiri, whereupon they pour it in a styrofoam cup, slap a plastic lid on top and hand you a straw. How is this legal, especially when you get it at the drive-thru? Well, supposedly the catch is that it's not an "open container" unless you put the straw in, and as long as you don't put the straw in while you're in the car or still at the liquor store, you're golden. Dig it.

Also, the best crawfish etouffe isn't made in restaurants — it's homemade. I love Cajun food as much as anybody, but I've never had crawfish etouffe like I did on Friday night. I made it home with some leftovers, so all is well.

And along with my visit came fulfilling the other part of my bet. I made a bet on the Arkansas-LSU baseball game (as I wrote about in a previous post), and along with the LSU-laden Facebook profile picture and status updates came a free, bright purple LSU shirt complete with "Geaux Tigers" written on it (the photo above is an actual photo of the T-shirt). I rocked it all day yesterday. For the sake of my own pride, it might be a while before I break it out again.

• When I got home yesterday, my air conditioner was conveniently broken. Finally got it fixed this afternoon, and thank God. I was starting to search for friends with air conditioning and open couches.

• The Commercial Appeal's Grizzlies beat writer, Ron Tillery, commits blatant and inexplicable plaguerization in his latest opus — this one championing how Hasheem Tha-bust will not be as embarrassing a pick at No. 2 as, um, everyone else thinks it will. He's got quotes from Tha-bust at the pre-draft camp, which is fine, except for that, um, Tillery wasn't there. Tillery and his radio show co-host Peter Edmiston claim Tillery is the only person in the world with knowledgeable and intelligent things to say about the Grizzlies. They say the likes of ESPN's Chad Ford and DraftExpress.com's Jonathan Givony don't know what they're talking about, so what do I know?

So, I made a bet

Sometimes I get the best of myself. Then again, sometimes I get the best of others. And, man, sometimes it's worth the risk.

Now that Arkansas and LSU are set to faceoff in the College World Series at 6 p.m. Monday, I decided I'd add a little to the occasion by taking the Hogs in a friendly wager with a friend of mine who just so happens to be an LSU grad. It doesn't help that she's nice, cute, female and all of the other things that would prevent a guy from saying no and stopping from digging his own trap any deeper.

Regardless, if Arkansas wins, she has to cange her Facebook profile picture to a Razorback logo for an entire week and say "Go Hogs" in eery status update during that time. An Arkansas T-shirt is also somehow involved. If LSU wins, I've got to make my profile picture an LSU logo and say "Geaux Tigers" in each status update. And there's an LSU shirt involved somehow, but we're yet to figure that part out yet. What makes this particularly good is that even when Arkansas wins, LSU won't necessarily be out of the tournament, which will make the sight of an LSU fan rooting for the Razorbacks even more priceless. I'm going into this without giving much thought to how much it could suck if I come out of this the loser.

So if Arkansas suddenly stops playing like the hottest team in America and stumbles on Monday night and you log on to Facebook only to see my profile picture laden with purple and gold, please don't be alarmed.

• For those of you who don't know me that well, let me tell you about my relationship with the movie theatre: there isn't one. I don't know why, but I frequent movie theatres (I prefer that spelling, yes) less often than I do Asian restaurants. It's kind of funny. I don't have anything against movies —- I just don't go. I took a break from that the other day and went to see The Hangover. Rather than ruining it for you, I'm just going to tell you to go see it. I haven't seen a movie that funny in a long, long time.

• I bought Starcraft and tried to install it on my MacBook, but it's not working. It's frustrating, but it's probably God's way of telling me I should go out and do something with myself rather than sit at home and play the computer game that I was pretty much addicted to during junior high. That said, it's fun as hell. Yes, it was made in 1998. Yes, I still like it. Yes, I'm a dork. So if you think you can help me along with installing it onto my computer, please let me know.

• I had never heard of this before, and I'm not sure whether it's true, but the concept is ridiculous and hilarious. Can ANYONE vouch one way or the other for the story of LSU fans smelling like corn dogs?

Mr. Rock and Roll

I met Memphis basketball coach Josh Pastner today. Not that I wasn't already a fan, but I loved the guy. I was wandering around the Finch Center with a couple friends and tried to walk into the gym/workout area. The door was locked, and out the door came Pastner. He hung up with whoever it was he talking with on the phone, introduced himself and explained that he was just trying to get the stragglers from the camp he ran earlier in the day to get out of the gym so he could close it down.He offered to let us back in about 40 minutes or so if we wanted to walk around and see it. It wasn't that big of a deal, so we told him not to worry about it and that we were just curious.

He said the weekend had gone very well. For the weekend, Memphis hosted an Elite Camp, which is basically another recruitng tool where tons of great players from around the area come and play, and past Tigers (Chris Douglas-Roberts, Jeremy Hunt, Anthony Rice and Andre Turner to name a few) hang out and help the program. There are charity tournaments, celebrity games and basically everything else, too.

But back to Pastner. It's interesting how different a person he is than former coach John Calipari. Calipari would have never stopped and talk with four 20-something dudes wandering around his multi-million-dollar practice facility. Especially not on the same day when the university's big wigs are in Indianapolis meeting with the NCAA about alleged major violations against numerous parts of the athletic program. That's not really a knock on Calipari; different people have different personalities. As Pastner often says, he's not a glass half-full or half-empty kind of guy. He's a glass overflowing kind of guy. I can dig that. Especially if he keeps lighting up the recruiting trail. Here's to hoping he can coach, too.

• Went to Southland Greyhound Park today. Had never been there. Let's put it this way — not exactly my crowd.

• How about them Hogs? Arkansas had an incredibly dramatic win over Florida State today to sweep the Seminoles in the Super Regional and advance to the College World Series. I'm pondering headng up to Omaha to catch a game if they ever play a weekend game. Of course, knowing my luck, they'll play all their games during the day on weekdays so I won't even be able to watch them on television. Oh, and props to the LSU Tigers for doing their part to rep the SEC and advancing to the CWS, too. The SEC really is unfair sometimes.

Answer me this

If I were to sell practically everything I own, take the money, spend it on lottery tickets and not win, would the Average Joe have any reason — any reason — to sympathize with me and support me back to my feet? Of course not. So why does it make sense for General Motors — which has stared bankruptcy in the face for quite some time, taken and completely blown a $20 million buyout, and filed for bankruptcy — to keep getting extra chances to save the sunken ship that is itself?

It's discouraging as a citizen, as a taxpayer and as a reasonable-thinking, educated human being to see GM continue to take advantage of everyone but itself? Lawmakers shouldn't just be "testy" with Fritz Henderson, they should be making the guy's life a living hell and letting him fall flat on his face by himself.

"This is our last chance to get it right," he said. No, Fritz, that chance came and passed a long time ago. You had it wrong from the beginning when you let the unions boss you around and create ridiculous retirement plans that drained the entire company and subsequently cost thousands of jobs and helped further stimulate an absolutely dreadful economy. Don't get me wrong, I am, for the most part, OK with unions, but the automakers used zero common sense when dealing with them.

• I'm still laughing after reading Geoff Calkins' latest. Go Tigers Go. Couldn't agree any more.

• I had no idea Wakarusa even existed. Is that bad? Even worse, I learned about it from a Texan, albeit a pretty cool Texan. Black Crowes, G. Love, Cross Canadian Ragweed. In Ozark, Arkansas? Wow.

• The Pittsburgh Pirates blow me away (though, as a Braves fan, I'm not complaining). What exactly is the direction of that franchise? Short-term, long-term, it doesn't matter. Absolutely mind-boggling.

A developing addiction

It's hard for me to begin to speak to how incredible Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken really is. I went for the first time today, and it was spectacular. I recommend the spicy over the mild. Even the baked beans were good, and I'm pretty picky when it comes to those. It was so good, in fact, that I've got a craving for it more than eight hours after having it for lunch. For the sake of my cholesterol, I'll pass. I'll make red beans and rice instead.

Living away from home and the fraternity house where meals were usually provided and/or prepared for me on most occasions has really taught me how much of a chore it is to make dinner every night. And the only people I have to cook for are my roommate (sometimes, and she eats like a rabbit) and myself. Couldn't imagine cooking for an entire family on a regular basis. Yikes.

• This has to be a desperate marketing move, but I still have to ask the question: Why is John Kruk an analyst for the Women's College World Series? I'd like to see Gus Johnson give it a whirl. He's done mixed martial arts and track-and-field before, so what's one more obscure sport? Yeah, it would be awkward, but at least it'd be awkward AND entertaining. Florida got to the championship series on a walk-off grand-slam. Think of the call had Gus been in the press box.

• The University of Memphis athletic department is about as good at lying and covering its own tracks as Nickleback is at playing quality music. What gets me about the whole thing is the university's legal counsel says the school would have done the fans a disservice had it been forthcoming about the NCAA's accusations and subsequent investigation of the athletic program because it wouldn't have given the institution ample time to gather the proper information and put together a response. Please.

• Dan Wetzel uses the Memphis/Derrick Rose saga to tackle the NBA's age limit rule and hits it out of the park. I've never seen someone present that side of the story so well.